Santa Bantasms
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Santabanta Jokes
A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped
the man n said: He's not my friend.
Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan
di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar
karoge?
Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton
ka.
Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later
he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The
report said: 'Delivered'
Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane
gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega?
Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat
ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai
Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki
devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye
hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar
nahin hundi
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil
gaya
Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in
evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar
ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can
think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta,who was
just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password.
It’s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and
coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa
whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:
Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every
time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth
wash?"
Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.
Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth
hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him
the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
Santa Banta zid kar rahe c monkey dekhan di... so tuhade ghar
da address dita hai. Yaar 2-4 tapusian maar ke dikha deo
bichare khush ho jaan ge.
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti
hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open
mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases
the board.
Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.
Gal - What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.
Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat:
Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni
laga.
Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j
tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan
oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
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